i woke up hoping it had all been a horrible dream.

“Hey, let me tell you a secret. I will tell only you okay?”
A blush and a smile spreads as anticipating hands reached across to type. “Sure what is it?”
“I’m going out with her.”

How am I supposed to react to this inside me. I don’t know the answer. I am still searching for it a day later. The smiles and teasing you received over MSN was not sincere, I am sorry. I was happy definitely for you and her. But what am I to make out of my own misfortune? Who will feel sad for me?

I am very happy you treat me as someone important. But I know I can never be as important as her. I wish you could have picked another person to tell. I wish I will never know. I wish (I’m sorry) I could have been her.

These past few days I have been arrogant and didn’t know any better. I’m sorry for being ignorant, and selfishly sticking to you like a parasite. Now I know my place and will move aside.

You said you hope to never hurt her. I will never forgive you if you hurt her. You have hurt me, but it is okay, because that stinging slap woke me up. Although the realisation sank in only this morning, it had been unbearably suffocating.

The “too bad”s and “oh well”s I told myself are not working. The pain from your kind-hearted slap is still burning my skin.

It is going to take some time, but I promise I’ll get over it.

Thank you and goodbye.


About Zetsubou Kagami

I need a place where I can vent all my negative thoughts anonymously. This is the place. If you've come across this blog, don't try to guess who I am, and cheer up because you know now there is someone out there who is more miserable than you. (: View all posts by Zetsubou Kagami

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